she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm always down for nudity.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
