There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
