arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize