Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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