we have officially lost it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
