i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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