Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You made out with two different species that night
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
