Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
