so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
