my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize