Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
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When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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