coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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