Will you blow on my dice?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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