ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
