we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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