When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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