We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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