Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
