he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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