then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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