All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You may now shotgun with the bride
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
