he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
