I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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