so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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