I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I still have a little drunk in my system
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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