just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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