I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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