There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
