come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
