Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The ass gains better be worth it
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