id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
