It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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