She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
