You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
