If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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