dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i love accidental penises.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
