Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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