Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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