this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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