if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
