Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
