why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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