Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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