i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize