"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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