what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
