i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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