also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
