dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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