Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize