I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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