So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Dick very happy bro
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
