Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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