Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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