After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
