He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize