cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
