it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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