i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
