at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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