He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
