new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I don't deserve a penis
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
